Why Women Have the Leverage in Dating (and How to Get It Back)

Alright, listen up. If you’re a guy who’s always felt like you’re one step behind in dating, like you’re the one chasing and she’s the one pulling away, I’m about to show you why. Most guys think it’s all about what they say or do, but the real issue is deeper. Let’s break this down in the simplest way possible.

1. She Has the Power if You Want Her More Than She Wants You

Think about it like this: whoever wants something less has the power. In most cases, if you’re feeling desperate to get her attention or spend time with her, she knows she’s the one in control. She can pull away, knowing you’ll come running back. This is why you can’t let that desperation or “lust” for her control you. If she feels like you’re the one chasing, she has no reason to chase you back.

2. Wanting Her Approval Makes You Look Weak

When you want a girl too much, she starts to lose respect. Imagine this: if every guy out there wants her, but you’re the one guy who doesn’t act like she’s the best thing on Earth, she’s going to wonder why. That makes her curious and, surprisingly, she might even try to win your approval. When you let her have the power, she sees you as just another guy, but when you’re the one in control, you’ll be seen as different.

3. How to Take Back the Leverage – Don’t Let Lust Lead You

Most guys think that if they can just sleep with a girl, she’ll like them more. But here’s the reality: if you’re constantly focused on that, she’ll know, and it actually pushes her away. When you stop acting like that’s the most important thing, she respects you more. It shows her you have control over your emotions, and it makes her feel like you’re a guy with standards, not someone who just wants a fling. Women find it attractive when you show you have self-control and don’t need anything from her.

4. Respect Yourself First

Ask yourself: why does she deserve your time, your attention, or anything else? What has she done to earn it? This doesn’t mean being rude or cold—it means realizing your worth. If all you’re looking for is approval from her, that’s going to show, and she’ll know she doesn’t have to work to get your attention. But when you focus on being a guy with values and standards, she sees that you’re a man with self-respect, and that is something she’ll respect too.

5. Become the Kind of Man She Respects

Women aren’t drawn to a guy because he says the “perfect thing” or tries to impress her. What matters is that you’re someone who respects himself, has confidence, and lives by his own standards. Instead of trying to make every woman like you, focus on being the man who deserves respect. The more you respect yourself, the more others, including women, will respect you back.

Remember, you attract what you are. Work on your internal value, and you’ll attract the right kind of woman into your life.

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