Why Women Keep Their Options Open

Today, I’m sharing a simple story from a recent brunch that reveals a lot about how women think and why they act the way they do in dating.

So, I was out to brunch, and I noticed my server was pretty cute. We chatted a bit as she brought the food, and by the end, I decided to ask if she’d like to exchange Instagram handles so I could take her out sometime. Now, here’s what was interesting: she told me she had a boyfriend but was still open to adding me back on Instagram. She didn’t flat out say “no.” Instead, she kept the door open.

This made me think about something I always talk about—how women naturally play a balancing act. Why? Because for women, everything in dating comes back to survival. It sounds simple, but this idea is huge. Women are wired to look for men who can protect and support them, both now and in the future. That means they’ll often keep options open, sometimes even if they already have a boyfriend. This doesn’t mean they’re out to hurt anyone—it’s more about having options just in case.

You see, a woman is always scanning for the best possible partner. She’s looking for someone strong—not just physically but mentally and emotionally, too. Why? Because the stronger the man, the more security he brings, and security means safety. It’s why they test guys to see if they can stand strong and be independent. The moment you go “all in” with a woman, showing too much interest or making her your number one priority, she may start to pull back. She wants to know you’re in control of your life and don’t need her for validation. That’s what attracts her and makes her feel safe with you.

To make this easier to understand, think of it this way: Women act this way because it’s built into their nature. Just like you might want to feel important and capable, she wants to feel safe and supported. When you see this side of dating, you understand that the best way to win her interest is not by giving everything to her right away. It’s by being strong, independent, and focused on your own goals.

Remember, you attract what you are. Work on your internal value, and you’ll attract the right kind of woman into your life.

You are not a victim. You are a Headman.

Now it's time that we take the next step to develop you into the man that you were called to be.

Take the next step right here to join us inside this global movement.